How Is It That?-?-?

Can someone physically die from a broken heart?

I definitely say yes..

I think the will to live, once it is gone, even though you might breath, and function, and move, and talk, and even laugh.. A body where the soul is gone or given up is a zombie.

People that see me for the first time, at the doctors or wherever I might be have no clue to what I experience in the terms of emotional, physical or mental pain. (Dad taught me well. Be strong boy, be a man boy.)

But there is some merit in even that. For if someone walks around beaten and depressed they become prey. And I will never be prey. Prey to be used or even violently accosted. Someone looking strong and confident is rarely mugged. A mugger, like a lion, will always seek the weak or injured.

Some ask how can someone help me without knowing? Good question.

Two people knew. Cathey and my ex wife knew that my eyes could never lie. And that is why I have no pictures taken recently. I want people to remember deep set, strong, blue, thoughtful caring eyes. Not a zombie’s. They took the time to find the answer that is there for all to see.

Surely you can get over someone most feel.

To those I reply it is obvious that you have never known love. A love where the spirit disallows you to do so. It is as if two spirits from another time recognize each other. And the romance is rekindled. Even though it may be another lifetime, or another decade, the spirit knew at once that this was a spirit it once cared for deeply. The body, or the mind is stuck in the here and now but the spirit is endless. It loves eternally.

To those I also reply that you love with your heart. That comes and goes. A parent loves with a spirit. There is a connection, a bond, that is never gone. Even the worst of children still merit their parents love and have it. Murderers, no matter how heinous they may be are still loved by their parents. Romantic love, the true spiritual love, is the same. It does not weaken. In fact distance, and separation cause it to mourn, and at times even grow stronger.

So to those of you who say you once were in love with someone, but no longer are, I say you love with your heart. And the heart is fickle and not forthwith. The love of a spirit or a soul, is never at risk. Love with a heart is not “in love, or true love” in my book.

“She is my soulmate”. God I am so sick of people wasting a term that they do not even begin to understand. Soul Mate.. Mated at the soul. Not just someone you love. I love Ron. He is a good friend and has been through many years with me. But he is not now, or ever will be a Soulmate.

There may be time when the love of two spirits is questioned, there may be times where it is not as passionate or as strong, but it is always there waiting to be unleashed again. And you are the only person that can leash it in. But it will never be tethered forever. It is impossible to do so. It will eat and ache and constantly be calling for the piece you have tried to rip it away from. Eventually you become either a zombie, expending all effort to deny the undeniable or you go back to what you know to be so fulfilling and so real.

Remember bridges of Madison County? My ex preordained our ending immediately with constant reference to that movie. He loved with his soul. She loved with her heart. Too worried about what society or family might say. She (The Madison County Wife) let him go.. and rued it all the days of her life. Is it the stuff of make believe? Or is it truly the thing that poets and writers have for centuries tried to portray?

It is the latter. And it is like god reaching through you to the god that runs the soul and spirit of another being.

Like god, there are no words that can ably or aptly describe the feeling. None yet invented that can envelope the uncontainable. So we try to make others understand without the tools to do so.

But what we do not understand, is that if a person that is not truly spiritually oriented happens across this, they fear it and they run for definition. They go to counselors and seek redemption and cure. They want terms like addiction and obsession to call it something thinking that gives them control. And it is not controllable, definable, or curable.

A person who is spiritually oriented will understand that there is a deeper event occurring here. It is god reaching through us to another’s god within them. And both – if spiritually oriented in life will understand, cherish, and give more than they ever could without ever feeling empty.

So to live without that piece that you know exists is to constantly want. And that is not living - the want and need is so overpowering nothing else matters. Imagine losing a child at the mall. The frantic search, the days of waiting, the months that turn into years that fly by all the time you look into the eyes of everyone wanting recognition of what you lost.

Twice in my life have I been blessed with that love. I am still in awe at all I was capable of during the time I felt reciprocation. And even though I have had more years of pain because of the two experiences, I would never ever wish they never occurred. For others have scaled Everest. But I know, have felt, and lived an event that most can never begin to fathom. I was happiest in the giving. I was happiest in the eyes and inspiration of the women that loved me.

My next question is to the god of my definition. Why am I still here?

The answer, obviously is what I came here to do or be, is not yet over. People from my high school days in better shape, and in better health are gone. Dying in an instant - their time was up.

All I can do is hope for my job to be done so that I may go. I am sure this is both heaven and hell. I have savored the former and lived the latter. And I know that the next phase, has got to be better. If nothing else a respite before my spirit and soul are again released into a new body. Really our spirits and souls are batteries – rechargeable and reusable. The flashlight may break, but the batteries will power up again and live again.

And against all hope, I hope, that once again, somehow… The fingers will stroke my face when the next surgery comes. Just a week away… But I am no fool..I know better… She is not one to make amends or right wrongs. She once stated two things.. No one knew her better and no one ever loved her more. Two things that I can vouch for as being truths. The rest of her words no matter how suspect, mean little.

No one can take away my hope. As I await my fourth epiphany, I hope she has her first and sees that life is all about learning to love. And that the only taste of love she ever has had was with me. Alien as it was to her, it is the only real thing in life.

Love… is the lesson we are sent here to learn. And others actions words and deeds are just chaff and smoke and mirrors to distract us. The serial murderer is not here for the same reason. He is an instrument to stop us from following the true road of living. Smoke and mirrors.

And yes physically a broken heart can kill someone besides stealing their will to live and their last hope. The following words are not mine. An article from Sixwise.com can talk about the physical aspects.. I am just here to try to awaken the spirit, thoughts and feelings within you…